I'm discouraged. Had one of those mornings where nothing was going right. I stayed up too late last night with good intentions to read a great book; but then I was tired this AM. My baby is fussing all the way through breakfast, had 2 well needed and fun phone calls before 9 am; but that brought on more fussing from my son. Tried to get some excercise in. Got more discouraging news about our small group, etc.. God are we on the right track? Is this really what you want us to do? Help us get over the hump, how do we encourage people without brow beating them into this? How are we to "be the light"?
I felt icky. Austin wouldn't nap. Teething. But it's still rather disturbing. I'm feeling the weight of some big issues in my friend's lives. Feeling overwhelmed by an upcoming event. Wondering if I'm behind at work, etc.
I got out of the shower after praying and asking God to please allow me to have joy today. Help me overcome. How am I to this place of despair. Feeling the world is caving in? Feeling I'm not on track?
Sat down with my devotional book and cried out to God to fill me up and get rid of my ick... Opened my Face to Face Vol 2 by Ken Boa. Day 27:
"You Lord God are the faithful God. You keep Your covenant and Your lovingkindess to a thousand generations of those who love You and keep Your commands." Duet 7:9
Boom- here it is. I was feeling let down by some situations falling through- committments being broken- and there it is. "You Lord God are the faithful God.." God is faithful. People aren't always. So, what!?! God is!
"You keep your covenant..." God keeps his promises. He is sovereign. Wow- when all else around me is failing- he is Sovereign. He is committed. He is God.
I kept reading.
Romans 15:5-6 "O God, You are the one who gives endurance and encouragement.." Okay. I know Romans is not talking about endurance & encouragement for my specific issue. But it's a truth about God.
HE gives endurance. He gives encouragement. That's what I needed to day. The strength to endure. The encouragement.
Sure, shooting off an email to my closest friends- my Peter, James, and John- if you will- is great.. Sure, unloading on the phone is great- but God please convict my heart that I don't fall into these traps without first seeking YOUR encouragement, and YOUR endurance, and remembering that YOU are faithful and YOU keep your covenant with us.
What a perspective change.
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